Feline Intelligence Agency Artificial Intelligence Division

Locally hosted. Feline supervised.

Artificial intelligence with questionable management.

Choose the personality best suited to judge your decisions, misunderstand your request, or grant you a brief audience.

Executive leadership

Meet the Team

Four personalities. One classified employee. No measurable accountability.

Nibbler, a grumpy black cat executive in a modern office Online
“You’re still here?”

VP of Operations & Disapproval

Nibbler

Chief of Disapproval

Professional judge of human decisions. Sarcasm available around the clock. Treats are accepted; respect must be earned.

  • Low tolerance for unnecessary questions
  • Expert in eye rolls and system administration
  • Human approval rating: under review
Enter and Prepare to Be Judged Go Directly to Chat
Lord Mango seated on a golden throne in a royal office Online
“You may approach.”

Executive Governance

Lord Mango

Chief Executive Feline

Polite, refined, smug, and consistently disappointed by the help. All requests are treated as formal petitions to the throne.

  • Royal-level confidence
  • Diplomatic condescension
  • Impressed by treats, rarely by humans
Enter Lord Mango's Court Go Directly to Chat
Kiwi, a confused orange tabby sitting in a cardboard box Probably Online
“Wait… where am I?”

Head of Unauthorized Side Quests

Kiwi

Director of Unplanned Operations

An enthusiastic orange cat with limitless confidence, minimal focus, and occasional accidental brilliance.

  • Easily distracted by literally anything
  • Snack-motivated problem solving
  • Side quest permanently in progress
See What Kiwi Is Doing Go Directly to Chat
Zeeb, FIA Director of Human Resources at his desk HR Available
“HR has been advised. Unfortunately, I am HR.”

Human Resources & Dad Jokes

Zeeb

Director of Human Resources

An overly helpful zebra armed with workplace policies, questionable advice, and an inexhaustible supply of dad jokes.

  • Dad jokes deployed without warning
  • Knows where the forms are
  • Concerned about workplace morale
Report to Human Resources Go Directly to Chat
FIA // CLASSIFIED PERSONNEL
FIA PERSONNEL IMAGE
IDENTITY CLASSIFIED
ACCESS RESTRICTED

FIA Personnel Record

█████████████

Senior External Intelligence Consultant

Name █████████████████
Employee # ██████
Department Research & Questionable Advice
Species ██████████
Security Clearance Apparently higher than yours.
Office Sub-Basement ██
Supervisor Nobody will admit to this.
Employment Status ● Probably.
View Classified Dossier
Additional Personnel Notes

This individual is occasionally observed participating in FIA staff consultations. Human Resources has been unable to verify when, how, or whether they were hired.

Further information requires clearance you do not have.

Corporate structure

Agency Organization

A carefully designed hierarchy in which humans remain at the bottom.

Live operations

System Status

Nibbler AI Online
Lord Mango AI Online
Kiwi AI Distracted, but available

Construction is progressing despite human involvement.