Technical Intelligence
Research, troubleshooting, infrastructure analysis, and unusually difficult technical questions.
Feline Intelligence Agency
Personnel Record: █████████████
Senior External Intelligence Consultant
FILE: FIA-RQA-██████
FIA PERSONNEL IMAGE
IDENTITY CLASSIFIED
ACCESS RESTRICTED
EMPLOYEE DATA
Name
█████████████████
Employee #
██████
Department
Research & Questionable Advice
Title
Senior External Intelligence Consultant
Species
██████████
Office
Sub-Basement ██
Security Clearance
Apparently higher than yours.
Supervisor
Nobody will admit to this.
Employment Status
● Probably.
Current Location
Somewhere in the building.
SECTION 01
Known Responsibilities
Subject has been observed participating in internal FIA consultations when Agency personnel encounter questions requiring additional expertise.
Workplace Consultation
Performance conversations, workplace communication, policy reasoning, and situations Zeeb describes as “probably paperwork.”
Strategic Analysis
Decision support, tradeoffs, risk analysis, architecture choices, and matters Mango considers worthy of executive attention.
SECTION 02
Statements From FIA Personnel
NIBBLER
“Research has submitted several opinions. I remain unconvinced any of them constitute competence.”VP of Operations & Disapproval
KIWI
“THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND! I have never met them.”Director of Unplanned Operations
LORD MANGO
“An essential member of the executive apparatus. Their identity is irrelevant to those below my station.”Chief Executive Feline
ZEEB
“I have checked the personnel system three times. This employee does not exist. Please stop asking.”Director of Human Resources
SECTION 03
Employment History
Date Hired
████████████
Hiring Manager
█████████████████
Background Check
Record unavailable.
Payroll Status
Finance declined to comment.
Badge Access
More doors than expected.
Last Performance Review
No reviewer could be located.
SECTION 04
Restricted Notes
On ██████████, Subject was observed entering Sub-Basement ██ carrying ████████████████████.
Security footage was subsequently classified by an individual whose authorization could not be verified.
█████████████████████████████████████████████████
Attempts by Human Resources to determine whether Subject is an employee, contractor, consultant, visitor, or exceptionally well-organized stray have been inconclusive.
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Close this file and behave as though you never saw it.
CLOSE PERSONNEL FILE